


lost at sea (it was never meant to be)

by pdridee



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Mianite - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Dad!Schlatt? Don’t know him, Everyone Fucked Up, Everyone’s sad, For my friend :), How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Misunderstandings, Protective Jordan Maron, Sad, Sad Ending, Self-Esteem Issues, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, dad sparklez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:02:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29864028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pdridee/pseuds/pdridee
Summary: The boy did not look like he was from the mainland, but neither did Phil and Phil was born and raised in the mainland. Phil had assumed that Tubbo was from one of the countless realms created and took him in. To this day, Tubbo had no idea who his biological parents were and still held onto the hope that they would come back for him. He never considered Phil to be his dad, unlike Techno, Tommy, or Wilbur.Tubbo looked up at the poster he had on his and Tommy’s shared wall. Captain Sparklez, the hero of the goddess Ianite. The Captain was his everything. He looked up to the Captain, to his bravery, his intelligence, his ability to lead anything. That’s who he was drawing right now ㅡ Tubbo wanted to be just like the CaptainHe wonders if the Captain heard him when he talked to his poster. Even as a six-year-old, he knew that it was not possible, yet he still held onto a small glimmer of hope that his hero listened to his rantings.Or: A dad!Sparklez fic where Sparklez unwillingly abandoned Tubbo.
Relationships: Jordan Marion & Sonja Reid, Jordan Maron & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Lady Ianite (Mianite) & Jordan Maron, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Tom Cassell & Jordan Maron, William Tucker Boner & Jordan Maron
Comments: 22
Kudos: 82





	lost at sea (it was never meant to be)

**Author's Note:**

> This took me a couple months oops. I planned this before Tommy’s “death”, so it was not really mentioned. 
> 
> This was my first fic, so hope you all enjoy :)

Jordan remembers the first day he met her. Captain Capsize, the love of his life. She had been part of a crew of pirates who followed Ianite, much like himself (though he _definitely_ was not a pirate despite his title of Captain). Her brother was a bit overprotective of her and she did tend to get drunk with her crew a lot but he loved her, and that’s what mattered.

Jordan remembers her dying, leaving behind a one-year-old son. The love of his life was dead. He would never hear her laugh again, see her beautiful smile again, watch her command and joke around with her crew again. He had attended the funeral dressed in black alongside her brother and his best friends, sympathy present in their eyes. 

The love of his life was dead, all because of his mission to save Ianite. How many times would he have to put his god over the people he loved? And so, Jordan swore to never leave his baby, even for Ianite. He couldn’t lose another person, not as he lost Capsize. Never again, he promised, staring into the little bassinet holding his one-year-old child, whose smile looked too much like Capsize’s had.

Jordan found himself breaking that promise three years later, He convinced himself that it was alright though, he had Sonja, Tucker, even _Tom_ on his side, he would be back to see his little Tubbo in no time. Jordan had left Tubbo with Capsize’s brother for the time being. Though it pained him, he knew this was the last chance he got to save Ianite. And so he sailed away with his companions, on a quest to rescue his god from her brother’s grasp. 

oOo

“We have to jump!” Sonja yelled over the deafening winds. “It’s the only way back!”

“Are you insane? We’re going to die!” Tom countered, peering down into the void.

“It’s our only way back!” She repeated, “our only way back to Tubbo,” Tubbo held a soft spot in all their hearts, not just Jordan’s. A silent agreement among the other three companions led them to stand on the cliff’s edge, ready to jump. 

“In 3,” The companions, no, the family looked at each other, not knowing what would happen when they jumped in. Would they die? Would they end up on their island? Would they appear somewhere else? No one knows.

“2,” Jordan braced himself. He needed to get back to Tubbo, needed to see his child smile and laugh once more, needed to keep his promise to Capsize and to himself true. The friends held hands. This was it.

“1,”

oOo

“Tubbo!! Let’s go play outside!” Tommy whined, poking Tubbo in the shoulder repeatedly while the boy was doodling. “C’mon, why do you have to obsess over him every day! I want to play outside!!”

“Then go play by yourself,” Tubbo said, not unkindly. However, Tommy’s six-year-old brain took this as an insult and huffed away, slamming the door as hard as he could with his tiny hands to play with his other friends Deo and Luke. 

Tubbo sighed. No matter how many times Tommy or Phil or Wilbur tease him for being the clingy one, he knows that in reality, Tommy is way more clingy. Tubbo had been living with Phil for two years now and barely remembered anything from before. Phil had found him when he was four, in a box by the seaside with what he presumed to be his name written on the side. 

The boy did not look like he was from the mainland, but neither did Phil and Phil was born and raised in the mainland. Phil had assumed that Tubbo was from one of the countless realms created and took him in. To this day, Tubbo had no idea who his biological parents were and still held onto the hope that they would come back for him. He never considered Phil to be his dad, unlike Techno, Tommy, or Wilbur.

Tubbo looked up at the poster he had on his and Tommy’s shared wall. Captain Sparklez, the hero of the goddess Ianite. The Captain was his everything. He looked up to the Captain, to his bravery, his intelligence, his ability to lead anything. That’s who he was drawing right now ㅡ Tubbo wanted to be just like the Captain.

He wonders if the Captain heard him when he talked to his poster. Even as a six-year-old, he knew that it was not possible, yet he still held onto a small glimmer of hope that his hero listened to his rantings. 

“Captain, why does Tommy always want to play when I don’t want to play?” Tubbo asked, staring pointedly at the poster as if he was daring it to talk back.

The poster stared back. Tubbo thought that the expression on the Captain’s face was telling him to keep talking.

“Why does he never play when I want to play?”

Tubbo swore he saw the poster look down at his drawing. _Is Tommy jealous of the Captain? Because I spend so much time with him and without Tommy?_

“Thank you for your help, Captain!” Tubbo said, saluting at his poster. He got out of his chair and ran outside to catch up with Tommy and the others. 

oOo

“I think he’s waking up,” 

Everything was blurry. Jordan had thought someone said something but he wasn’t too sure. On top of his fuzzy vision, he had a massive headache and ringing in his ears.

“Jordan, can you hear us?” Jordan heard someone say kindly, clearer than before. Another person snapped their fingers in front of his face. He groaned. 

Jordan sat up, the faces of the people in front of him becoming less blurry. He sees Tucker, Sonja, and Tom ㅡ the people he considered his family. Looking around, he couldn’t recognize where they were. This didn’t look like Mianite. He voiced his thoughts.

“Where are we?” Jordan said, finding it hard to speak and his voice scratchy. He looked around as the others’ faces morphed into ones of sympathy. That got him worrying and he repeated his question. 

“Seriously guys, where are we? This doesn’t look like Mianite. How far are we from Mianite? We’ve got to go back,” 

No one came forward to explain. Jordan continued to look around, confused. Why is no one saying anything? He needs to get back to Tubbo, don’t they understand that? They love Tubbo too, so why are they keeping information from him that could potentially get them back to Tubbo? 

Finally, Tucker reluctantly stepped forward in an attempt to explain to Jordan what they knew. 

“We all just woke up here after jumping into the void. You’ve been out for a day. In that time, we did some investigating as to where we are,” He spoke clinically and seemed reluctant to continue.

“Ok? And what did you find?” Jordan was confused. Why could they not just tell him where there are and how to get back to Tubbo?

Sonja continued on. 

“It looks like we are in a different realm. And we can’t find the portal back. So, we’re stuck here. We don’t know how long it’s been,” Sonja said, sympathy in her eyes and her voice. She looked away from Jordan.

Jordan felt his world crashing down. They were in a different realm, with no idea how to get back? And no idea how long it’s been? He felt like he was going to cry, but no he had to be strong for his friends.

“Is that all you guys found?” He asked, hoping that they found something that could help them.

Tom spoke up. “We found a town nearby. We were about to drag you there, but you woke up. Want to go?” His voice was a far cry from what it was in Mianite, his usual confidence vanished.

And so, the family marched onto the town in search of information and a portal back.

oOo

His house burnt down and Tubbo did not feel like this was a game anymore.

He had come to this realm after Tommy’s incessant pleads and he was under the impression that everything was all fun and games and they did not actually hate each other.

But they burnt down his house and everything suddenly became more real. They were not having fun anymore. Maybe they never did, maybe Tubbo just did not want to face reality.

Now the sixteen year old had nowhere to live. The only thought in his head was _What would the captain do?_ Something smart unlike him obviously. He would not have gotten into this mess to begin with, Tubbo was sure. The captain would not be as naive as he was.

Wilbur offered him a place in L’Manburg. The country that started this whole mess, though Tubbo supposes it could’ve been Tommy’s defiant nature that angered Dream. He distinctly remembers how a few months ago he and Tommy fought with Dream over simple music discs, but he was under the impression that it was just a game. Now, he saw clearly what type of person Dream was and he wasn’t naive anymore. This was not a game.

Tubbo was pulled out of his thoughts by someone yelling his name. Tommy yelling his name.

“Tubbo!! Come on!” He asked urgently.

“Sorry what was that?” Tubbo responded, having missed what he said previously.

“Wilbur is calling all of us for a meeting. Everyone. Me, you, Niki, Jack, Eret, Fundy. Apparently Dream said something, I don’t know he’s gonna talk about it. Let’s go!!”

Tubbo followed him along to that damned drug caravan. He barely paid attention to what Wilbur was saying, but caught bits and pieces. Apparently they were going to fight the Dream team tomorrow. Dream burnt his house as a warning for what would happen.

Tubbo did not think he wanted to fight tomorrow. Even though Techno had trained him in fighting alongside Tommy and Wilbur, he knew he was a shit fighter and had a higher chance of dying tomorrow than killing someone and making a difference. 

_The Captain would be ashamed of you._ His thoughts berated him. _He fought countless battles effortlessly, by himself, with no fear and here you are crying because you are fighting_ with _people. You should be ashamed too._

His thoughts were right. Who was he to not fight for what’s right? The Captain did it, so why should he not? He tuned back into Wilburs speech.

“Everyone sign this”

It was L’manburg’s Declaration of Independence. This wasn’t a game anymore. He signed it.

This was real.

oOo

Here he was again, another trust fall, another unknown outcome bound to occur. 

In the six months Jordan and his friends spent in this realm, it became more and more apparent that this wasn’t a realm, it was an alternate universe.

The gods were different. Mianite was bad now and Dianite good. Ianite stayed the same as she was equal in both universes.

The group had gone through many trials while in this world. But finally, it was over. Finally, they found the portal back home. Finally, they could get back to Tubbo.

Jordan still doesn’t know how long it’s been for Tubbo. The group did not know how long they spent falling down the void that brought them here.

But, here they were again. They had to fall again, hoping and praying that it would get them back to their world.

Jordan took a deep breath. “Alright guys, are you ready?” The group nodded their heads in approval.

“In 3,” Here they were again, unaware of what was in store for them after they jumped through.

“2,” The group held hands again, comforting each other as they prayed this portal would get them back to Tubbo and back to their world. This was it.

“1,” 

oOo

Everything was going wrong. Wilbur lost the election, his best friend was exiled, the country he fought for was taken over by Schlatt, and he was caught in the middle of it. Schlatt made every citizen of L’manburg take down the walls in his first day as president. It was clear that the country wasn’t the same anymore.

Techno joined the realm. That’s good, they would have a chance fighting Schlatt’s administration. Fighting “Manburg''.

Tubbo was acting as Schlatt’s right hand man as Wilbur wanted him to be a spy. He, Tommy, and Techno were holed up in a ravine they named Pogtopia. Tubbo longed to be with them because he felt so out of place in Manburg. Niki was in jail, Fundy accepting Schlatt, and Jack was nowhere to be found. Eret betrayed them a long time back and even though in theory Tubbo should hate him like everyone else does, he can’t bring himself to.

Tubbo felt like Wilbur was going insane at times. He knew it must be the stress of losing everything he fought for, but Tubbo knew his eyes were too dead to be his. Wilbur’s were supposed to be full of life and happy, not crazed with obsession.

Tubbo hated this. He’d come to the server thinking it was a game, but ever since the first war, it was very apparent that this was not a joke. He didn’t want to fight, he was sixteen for God’s sake. 

He doesn’t know why he still is here in this realm. He could leave easily, the portal was close to everything. Tubbo knew he hated it here, so why did he stay?

_What would the Captain think if you ran away?_ At times like these, Tubbo wonders why he was and is so obsessed with the Captain. Hell, he couldn’t do a thing without his subconscious asking whether the Captain would do it or would like it. 

Tubbo wondered if that was why he was holding on. That’s why he stayed in this realm. Because of the Captain. 

Everything he did was for the Captain, not for himself, Tubbo thought. The Captain gave him hope that Tubbo could do something, but obviously that was not true. Who was he to think he could fight and make a difference?

He made his way over to the portal. Why should he stay in this realm if he hated it here? He neared the spawn and mentally prepared himself to leave. He was a coward, he was running away, he was leaving Tommy and Niki and Wilbur and everyone else, he was leaving all his duties, he was-

He was stuck here.

The portal was deactivated. That meant only the admin or a god could reactivate it. He was sure as hell Dream, the admin, had deactivated it to keep control over them. Nobody could leave or come without his say.

Tubbo knew that leaving was out the window once he saw the portal. The gods haven’t been seen for years, not since their heroes' disappearance, and Dream was definitely not going to reactivate the portal. 

Curse the Captain for giving him the hope to get into this mess.

oOo

Jordan was back into this mess. Again, he didn’t know where he was. Again, he didn’t know how long it’s been. And again, he was far away from Tubbo.

Quite a few things were different from the last time though. It was only Tom and Jordan here, Sonja and Tucker were nowhere to be found. Jordan prayed that they were safe, wherever they ended up after the second trust fall. 

Jordan and Tom were stranded on islands in the middle of the ocean. Jordan didn’t know whether they were back in the right universe or not, but he knew one thing for sure, they didn’t know where the portal was. Again.

They had met a new person on these islands, another stranded. Karl was his name, he was a follower of Mianite. What they gathered from him was he had amnesia and forgot everything but his name and Mianite when left here. He was no Sonja or Tucker, but he wasn’t bad company.

_The gods seemed to be back to normal_ , Jordan thought as he built his, hopefully, temporary base. Maybe this meant that they were in the right universe.

Jordan hopes not too much time has passed and he could still watch Tubbo grow up and still be in his life. He hopes that Capsize’s brother was taking care of him and that he was safe and happy.

Why couldn’t Ianite bring him back to Tubbo? Surely, as a god, she had the power to do so. Hell, she separated him from his son, so why couldn’t she fix her mess?

Sighing, he went back to building his house. Subconsciously, he felt like something was wrong, but he ignored it has hammered nail after nail into his base.

Jordan hopes Tubbo is happy.

oOo

Tubbo could not catch a break. Dying, though temporary, felt like hell and being killed, twice, by someone he loved and trusted hurt even more. 

Wilbur was dead. Permanently. He let himself go, not clinging to life as one should when they die. Phil had killed him, he heard from Tommy. He blew up L’manburg, his unfinished symphony.

Schlatt was also dead in the least fulfilling way possible. He had a damn heart attack, leaving the country up for grabs. Wilbur was supposed to be reinstated as president, but everything wasn’t that easy. Wilbur made Tommy president, who made Tubbo president. He was president, that laughable. He had no idea what he was doing.

That should’ve been that, but Techno did not like the idea of a government and killed Tubbo to make his point. Apparently, Tommy had asked for his help in return for no more governments. That promise clearly didn’t stay as Tubbo was now the fucking president.

But Wilbur blew L’manburg up. And Techno released the withers. What’s the point of being president of a country if the country was destroyed.

Here Tubbo was, sitting in the rubble alongside the other remaining citizens and fighters of L’manburg. Tommy, Niki, Fundy, Quackity, Purpled, Ponk. Phil and Techno were nowhere to be found and Wilbur was dead.

Wilbur was dead and now Tubbo was president. 

_You don’t deserve to be president. You are going to fuck everything up_ , his thoughts yelled at him as Tommy put his arm around his shoulders.

“You alright?” He asked, voice cracking and tears apparent in his eyes. Tubbo had to be strong for Tommy, he obviously had it way worse as his family was torn to pieces.

“Yeah,” He lied, not trusting himself to say anything more as he was afraid he was going to cry. 

It hurt to die and respawn, it hurt to be betrayed by a friend, it hurt to watch another friend die. But hell, he had to be strong. He was the president now.

Tubbo barely looked up to the Captain anymore. The Captain’s life was so perfect and his was exactly the opposite. Fuck, he had to live his own life. He had to be his own person.

Tubbo stood up, shrugging Tommy’s arm off his shoulder and dusting his pants.

“Let’s rebuild this country,”

oOo

His lady finally caved. She would bring Tom and Karl back to the mainland and Jordan back to Tubbo. 

The trio went through their own fair share of trials here once again. But finally, after everything, after a year, Jordan would be back to his little Tubbo.

At least Jordan thinks it’s been a year. He had no idea how much time passed when he fell twice. Jordan hopes that he didn’t miss too much.

“Everyone ready?” Ianite asked the group.

They nodded their heads in approval. Jordan prays that everything would go well unlike the last two times. He prays that he did not miss too much of Tubbo’s life and that he could still be with him. 

“Alright, Tom and Karl step through this portal,” Ianite said, “Sparklez, I need to have a talk with you,”

The trio said their goodbyes, and Jordan was left alone.

“Jordan… I have to warn you before we go to the realm that Tubbo is in,” 

Jordan was confused. What would she have to warn his about? Was Tubbo safe? Was his lady not able to get him into Tubbo’s realm? Was there a big threat?

Ianite noticed his panic and bluntly said, “It has been thirteen years. Thirteen years since you left Tubbo.”

Jordan’s world shattered. His son was seventeen now. He hadn’t been able to watch his son grow up and he never will. Tubbo had grown up thinking he abandoned him. He didn’t keep his promise to Capsize true.

“Could you. Are you still able to bring me to him?” Jordan asked, afraid of the answer.

“Absolutely” Ianite responded, regret apparent in her face. “Jump through this portal, it will bring you to his realm.”

And for hopefully the last time in his life, Jordan jumped.

oOo

He fucked everything up.

Tubbo couldn’t even be considered a president anymore, his country was blown up. For the third and final time. 

He wasn’t fit to be president anyway. Tubbo had no idea what he was doing. Hell, he had exiled his best friend and fucked up every relationship he had.

Even though Tommy forgave him, Tubbo couldn’t help but feel guilty. He let his best friend get manipulated by Dream. What kind of person does that?

Tubbo thought back to a conversation he had with Ranboo right after exiling Tommy. Clearly everyone other than Tubbo was suitable for president. No one would mess up the country as bad as himself. Ranboo was supposed to run for the next elections, but obviously that would not happen as the country was a crater. Tubbo wonders where Ranboo is now, he had run away during the explosions.

Maybe he was with Techno and Phil. He had seen Techno talk to Ranboo during doomsday. Tubbo now knows where they live, but unwillingly. He was content in letting Techno live far away from L’manburg, but the other members of the cabinet wanted to hunt him down and kill him for setting off those withers. Hell, he’d subjected Techno to an execution without a fair trial, what kind of person does that? 

Dream was in prison now so they would not have to worry about him for a while. Sam is watching him.

Tubbo opened up the door to his and a Tommy’s shared house. They called their land “Snowchester”. A dumb name for two dumb friends. 

Here in the house lay a small L’manburg flag - for nostalgia purposes, Tommy and his communicators, their beds, and an ender chest. Tommy’s containing the discs they spent so long fighting for. The discs that were somehow the cause of everything. The center of conflict on this realm, now in their possession.

Tubbo glanced at his communicator. There was a new message from Captain Puffy. He liked Puffy, she treated him like a kid unlike everyone else in this realm. Damn. He was still a kid. Tubbo almost forgot.

He read the message. 

_Tubbo come to spawn. Tommy and Niki too. The portal is lighting up. I think it’s being reactivated._

Now this was interesting. Tubbo remembered when he went to the portal and saw it deactivated. How heartbroken he was to see how only Dream had control of who came in and out of the realm. 

Tubbo contemplated on who reactivated it as he ran to the portal. He knew Dream sure as hell would not reactivate it as one, he wanted control over them, and two, he was stuck in prison. Does this mean that the gods are back?

Thinking about the gods got Tubbo thinking of the Captain, hero of Ianite. Tubbo couldn’t help the anger burning in his heart. The Captain was the one who made him think that he could do something, and look how that turned out. He was more traumatized than anything. 

He reached the spawn and noticed Puffy talking to someone. With sunglasses and a king’s coat? Tubbo neared them and his heart dropped. Surely not.

It was the Captain.

oOo

Jordan had appeared in a large box surrounded by a forest. A woman was waiting there for him, her pirate coat reminding him too much of Capsize.

He was still dizzy and took a minute to regain his composure. He had a headache as one gets after jumping through a portal. Ianite was nowhere to be found, hopefully she brought him to the right place.

“Who the hell are you?” 

Jordan turned his head towards the pirate and watched her mouth part in shock. 

“You- you’re the Captain. Captain Sparklez. The whole world thought you died. How are you here? _Why_ are you here?” She asked frantically, surprised to see him. 

“I- I am” He responded, voice rough from disuse. “Who are _you_?”

“Oh sorry, I’m Captain Puffy. Not a real Captain, keep in mind, but I was a pirate. Anyway, you didn’t answer my other two questions,” Puffy said. 

“I- I’m here for...” Jordan stopped himself. How much should he trust this person. He shook his head at those thoughts, he had to ask her. She probably knew way more about this realm and its inhabitants than he did. “Does a person named ‘Tubbo’ live here?”

She looked at him in confusion. “Uh yeah, he does. Should I- I could take you to him,” Puffy responded. She turned around to presumably walk to the exit of this box. “Oh wait, he’s right there,”

Jordan glanced at the exit of the spawn box.

It was Tubbo, thirteen years older, but still him. His baby. 

oOo

They stared at each other for a while. One overjoyed to see the other, one loathing the other. Puffy standing awkwardly between them, afraid to say anything. 

Jordan finally did it. He went back to his Tubbo. But even though it’s been one year for him, it’s been thirteen years for Tubbo. How does he feel now?

Tubbo was mad and confused at the same time. First off, why does this man he obsessed over once upon a time and has never met before want to see him? How does he know who he is? Tubbo also blames the Captain for what happened to him even though subconsciously he knows that doesn’t make sense.

They made eye contact. And stared, and stared, and stared, and stared, and-

“Why the fuck do you know who I am?”

Jordan was taken aback. Did Capsize’s brother not tell him? He voiced his thoughts, “You mean- Redbeard didn’t tell you?”

Tubbo was really confused now. “Tell me what? And who the fuck is Redbeard?”

More and more people were answering Puffy’s message and coming over to the spawn. Namely, Tommy and Niki were here, glaring at each other.

“He’s your uncle. You’re my son” Jordan said, defeated. What happened in those thirteen years he was gone? What did Redbeard do?

“Surely not. No. I refuse to believe that,” Panicking, Tubbo couldn’t control his words, “I’m leaving. You’re not messing with my feelings anymore.”

He stormed off, out of the spawn followed by Niki and Puffy. Tommy stayed back, presumably to lecture Jordan.

And he did, “You’re the deadbeat dad who abandoned Tubbo? Did you know, everyday he’d obsess over you. It was you first and him second. Not a day went by when I heard ‘Captain this’ or ‘Captain that’. He never considered Phil his dad because he had hope that _you_ would come back. You should be ashamed of yourself,”

Tommy’s face turned red and he was angry. He had every right to be so. He ran away to catch up with Tubbo.

Jordan felt his world shatter for the second time. He fucked everything up and now his son won’t even look at him. What kind of person abandons someone like this?

Jordan made up his mind that Tubbo was better off without him. He doesn’t need him. He found a piece of paper and a pen in his coat pocket and he wrote one last letter to him, praying to Ianite that she would send it to him. 

And for the fourth time, probably never going to be the last, Jordan jumped through a portal.

oOo

Tubbo woke up, remembering the events from yesterday. The Captain was his father? The father who abandoned him? He’d thought it wasn’t possible to hate him that much. 

He got up and went outside to the little mailbox he and Tommy created a week ago. Usually there wasn’t any mail, but Tubbo just checked out of habit. Today there was a letter in a purple envelope. Huh, that’s new.

He opened the letter and immediately became angry. It was from the Captain. Why was he still trying to contact Tubbo, didn’t Tubbo make it clear yesterday that he didn’t want to talk to him?

Tubbo read the letter because he was curious. And his heart dropped.

_Dear Tubbo,_

_I know you probably don’t want to hear from me and that completely makes sense. But I just wanted to explain my side of the story._

_You were born in Mianite and lived there until you were four. Your mother, Captain Capsize, had died when you were one due to a mission regarding the goddess Ianite. You look just like her._

_When you were four, I had to go on a mission with my friends to save Ianite. It was the only chance we got and we had to take it. I entrusted you with Capsize’s brother, Redbeard, hoping that he would keep you safe. Apparently I was wrong, as he seemed to abandon you immediately._

_After our mission, my friends and I jumped into a portal as we thought it would bring us back to you. We were wrong because it took us to an alternate universe. After spending six months there, we found another portal and went through that. That took only me and one friend back to the right universe, but the wrong place._

_After spending_ another _six months there, m’lady, Ianite, caved and brought me to you. She reactivated and sent my other friend to the mainland._

_For me, it’s only been a year. For you, it’s been thirteen. You have no obligation to forgive me, believe me if I was in your shoes I would not forgive me. I left the realm, I’m in the mainland now._

_But, if you ever want to talk, my communicator number is on the back of this letter._

_Take care,_

_Captain Jordan Sparklez_

Tubbo had conflicting feelings now. This letter confused him more than anything. On one hand, Jordan had not intended to leave Tubbo. On the other hand, he left Tubbo in someone else’s care to go on a mission.

What should Tubbo think? This was so confusing. Should he hate Jordan? Should he forgive him? What should he do?

He couldn’t deal with this. Tubbo went back inside to his and Tommy’s house. Curling up on his bed, he wondered what Jordan was thinking right now. He decided he couldn’t forgive him just yet, but did Jordan regret everything that happened?

Was he not good enough? Why did the world keep on fucking him over? Did the gods take pleasure in messing with him?

And at the end, two people across the world couldn’t help but wonder what could have been.

**Author's Note:**

> I never finished Mianite season two bc modded minecraft isn’t my thing, so some things may be a bit inaccurate in that part.
> 
> If I have motivation, I might make another part but no promises :)


End file.
